This program, Elders3, is one of a series about challenges older persons experience. Maintenance is a major issue. Are they getting satisfactory health care? Are their mental health needs being met? Do they have their legal papers in place should they become incapacitated or die? Is there an overall plan in place should difficulty arise? It usually does. Do strategic persons know how to swing into action as a support network for elders who need outside help? These questions beg answers that are important for the care of persons in need, at risk, or just vulnerable.

Who does an elder have to fall back on in time of need, whether it be a minor matter or emergency situation? Son, daughter, spouse, legal representative, lawyer, clergy person, friend, neighbor, local council on aging worker, outreach worker, who? There need be a list to call. Usually there are one or two parties that run the show and can coordinate the solution of a naughty problem that arises. That person is usually a family member and I have seen so many do yeoman, unselfish duty for their loved kin. Or it may be an attorney or financial person who assumes the heaviest responsibility.

As I talk to you today, ask who your key caregivers are and note them on a piece of paper. Ask yourself, are they ready to go into action should an emergency or some dramatic event occur that needs immediate attention? The helpers in these cases make the difference between success and failure often., They need to be appreciated, even cherished. I feel that way toward my wife, my children and the various community members and professionals who look after me. It just makes sense to have an active network of medical, financial and family members on call.

With all of what is happening at the local, state and federal level,, one should consider using an elder attorney or a general lawyer who has experience and interest in older clients. Lists of qualified persons in elder law are available. I can help in this regard. Likewise an accountant can be of great help if the income, assets and property warrant the employment of such a skilled professional. People of modest means also benefit from accounting support.

I see it as a team effort. Have yourself an elder specialist as a lawyer. Continue to use your local attorney for everyday mundane matters as well. Have an accountant to help out or use a tax and financial service. Some use financial advisors. Get one, if you will, one with no ax to grind. Who won’t try to sell you particular funds or stocks and the like to make money off you. Be careful. Don’t get bilked. You can’t afford that.

Have a few trusted, knowledgeable friends you may turn to for friendly advice. People who don’t mind a call once and again, who care about you, your family and your needs. Confidentiality must be a part of your plan for support.

A lot of things you must know. When you need nutritional advice, can you get it? Are you comfortable calling your primary care physician? When you call you must be able to get through fast. His or her staff must be available to answer important questions. One always needs to be able to reach medical persons who will take the time to talk to you and don’t rush you off the line. If they do, change doctors or nurses. Too often we get a brush off and that can be dangerous to one’s health and even survival. You may not get to talk to the doctor as much as you wish, but a knowledgeable and caring nurse or office support staff often does so much.

If need be, can you reach a known voice at the local visiting nurses’ association for advice on nutrition, health and other matters? Establish a contact at the local Visiting Nurses Association. They can help steer you toward some help, Do you know the council on aging people, the SHINE counselors, the Medicaid number to call if you are on or interested in Mass Health? Can you comfortably get answers on Medicare from the literature they send out or by calling the phone number or viewing the website? Become familiar with your local Social Security office. It is hard to reach on the phone so visits to Norwood or Framingham are necessary and often fruitful. There is a SHINE counselor available at the Framingham office who is most useful. His name is Jack Oster and he is there Wednesday mornings.

All this is part of the equation in the maintenance of one’s situation as an elder. An active role in caring for oneself and kin is crucial and information is a must. Do you know how to reach the local police on a regular line as well as on 911? The Emt and ambulance service? There is so much of a service infrastructure that can help you but you must know how to access it rapidly and fluidly in time of need or in an emergency.

One interesting program in our county is called Triad and includes the council on aging, the police and state officials. It is a call-up program where daily contact is established with anyone wishing to have someone monitor them at home.

Elders can get help on medical and personal issues from varied sources.

If fuel assistance is needed, there are agencies that are glad to help. If Nstar bills are high for you elder discounts are available. So too with cable tv.

Should you need a plumber, electrician, carpenter, folks in town including the council on aging can give you leads to check out. I found a marvelous electrician in Sherborn by calling a friend, knowledgeable in that town’s services. Names of handyman and cleaning services are also available.

If you require mental health support, psychiatric counseling or psychotherapy, specialists are working in your own community or adjoining ones who can help. Dover has one person at least who is most helpful in psychiatric matters. Depression should be recognized and then dealt with. If you are at ill ends with yourself, don’t wait. Get help. Often insurances will cover mental health counseling and assistance. Medicare gives some support also. Men in particular feel that they have to tough it out alone. They isolate themselves, flounder about and never get mental health help that could stem a serious problem before it became incapacitating. Of course women too have these personal needs for help but they seem more sensible about reaching for help in the community to solve or at least deal with life’s overwhelming problems. It seems to me that such dire problems wait for us older people so often and with such devastating results. Turning for help to family and community just make good sense. The biggest killer as I see it, is self-imposed isolation.

Isolation kills. Contact saves. The connections need to be well drawn. Help is right there when you know to look for it and can figure out how to find it.

Alcohol is a scourge for old people. So is the excess use of drugs, prescription and non prescription. Some people indulge in too many pills for their ailments and overuse or misuse them. Massmedline, the state drug referral program, can help one in sorting out the complications of drug use. The service is free and excellent. They are easy to reach and a delight to deal with.

Know your rights. Read the Medicare publications on various subjects. That information may some day save your life or at the least allow a person more comfort and security. Knowing what’s up can also benefit those around you. When you know it, they know it too. The elders I know well are connected to others so when one person knows a thing it can help others around him or her. A knowledgeable elder population can go so far in maintaining the community’s good health for older persons and everyone else. MAP, the Medicare Action Program offers free legal help. I have used them and they are terrific, efficient and kind. MASSPRO is also there to help and sustain you. It is another agency devoted to the protection of elders as they seek and use Medicare services through doctors, agencies and hospitals. A lot of care has gone into the Medicare system. It works well and I don’t want to see it dismantled because year in and year out it has been a faithful servant. The new Medicare legislation just passed will attempt to modify traditional Medicare and I think that is a mistake. Fortunately it won’t start until 2006 , so we have time to hope for answers that will allow most of us to stay in the traditional Medicare service. Masspro is one of the most interesting and useful services the state provides for the protection of Medicare clients. The public should know that and how to reach them for help. Councils on Aging have the required information and 800 number.

People want answers. They are out there. Only you have to find them. A senior who attends functions in Dover or Sherborn is steps ahead because of the contact. Library users are at a distinct advantage because both of our fine libraries led by Kathy Killeen in Dover and Elizabeth Johnston in Sherborn have printed material and computer material that is easy to get at. One can never underestimate the power of the library, the local paper and of course our wonderful local tv.

I turn now to a source of easily available printed material you order by calling 1-800-medicare. One gives the operator the code number of the publication you require and some weeks later it comes in the mail free. The publications I will show you are also at the local library. Call anytime to receive them from Medicare. Twenty-four hours a day , every day. The material is always clear and easy to understand. If you have a problem, call your council on aging. They will help you reach Medicare.

First note there is a publications catalogue, subtitled “Free booklets about Medicare and related topics. This is the place to start, I discovered. The web site, www.medicare.gov can be used as well as the phone to get material. CMS which produces all these fine booklets is the federal agency, The acronym is for the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. Each publication or handout or pamphlet has a publication number. It is on the back of this one and is CMS-02240. Below this you will find the date of publication. One has to know the number of the booklet you wish to receive. That is why it might be useful to visit a local library or council on aging to view material relevant to your needs. With a number it is easy to give a list over the phone to the operator. Be sure to request the latest upgrade of available material. New brochures come out continually and are highlighted in the publications booklet. I t makes sense to start with the publications catalog.

“Medicare and you 2004” covers the spectrum in a brief and easy format. All major areas are summarized. Seniors receive this book in the mail and copies are also available around town. One finds on page 13 that there are three times to sign up for Medicare Part B. The initial enrollment period when one turns 65, the general enrollment period, the first three months of the year to begin in July of that year and the special enrollment period, which is eight months following the month that the employer health plan coverage ends or when the employment ends (whichever is first.) Knowing these dates is important because the cost of Part B goes up 10% for each 12 month period that you could have had Medicare Part B but didn’t take it. You will have to pay this extra amount as long as you have Medicare Part B.

This booklet can help one choose a health plan that is appropriate. It has an extensive section on Medicare privacy rights. Section 10 is a glossary of words to know, very useful in the process of understanding and using Medicare. The print is large and well laid out. Colors are used to highlight sections and terms that may require further explanation.

“Your Medicare Benefits,” another useful booklet, is a guide to what Medicare covers and what you pay for your health care services and supplies. Diabetic matters go from page 15 through page 18. Durable medical equipment is on page 21 and refers to wheel chairs, crutches, nebulizers and the like. Oxygen use is discussed on page 31. The alphabetical layout allows one to turn immediately to the subject one is researching. Various services such as preventive tests , diabetic help, home health care are summarized in neat sections. This book is a listing of the coverage in the original medicare plan used by millions of clients. The copy I have is one revised in April of 2003. One should of course try to get access to the latest version.

“Choosing a Medicare Health Plan” is a guide for people with Medicare that lays out the options available. One chooses between original Medicare or fee for service as it is sometimes called, and Medicare + choice, managed care. Each has advantages and disadvantages that will influence the final choice. On page 15 there is a comprehensive set of questions to ask when you call health plans to assess their services. One question is “will I have a copayment for doctor’s visits? If so, how much?” Or, “are doctors’ offices located near me?” “Can I choose which specialist I want to see?” Does the plan cover routine physical exams?” “Are mail-order prescription services available?” I found the list most helpful. It is easy to forget important issues to raise when deciding on a health strategy for oneself and one’s family. The list is comprehensive and has space to make notes as a person compares one plan with another. The book gives information on when you can switch from one plan to another and a list of words you should know, plus relevant phone numbers to call . As always it is written in a careful and concise manner. I highly recommend this book for anyone wondering about the relative benefits of original Medicare verses Medicare +choice or managed care. The two options are really quite different from one another. The choice is crucial as to whether one takes the original fee for service plan or the Medicare plus choice option.

Medigap policies cover the supplemental needs of recipients of Medicare. This book is called “Choosing a Medigap Policy”. It has a chart of standardized medigap plans in Massachusetts on page 73. The same information is in a SHINE document I have placed at our two local councils on aging. Most people in the Commonwealth choose supplement 1 or Medex Bronze if they use the Blue Cross product available here. In 2004 it will cost 139 dollars a month starting in March. United Health Care under AARP has another plan in Massachusetts as well, that is similar to the Blue Cross program. Medigap is insurance one gets from a private company like Blue Cross. It costs in the vicinity of a hundred dollars a month for the basic medigap policies; they are called core, core plus and supplement one, referred to as Medex Bronze.

Core is the basic stripped down medigap option and is less costly than Medex bronze. Medex gold is the program that pays for a lot of prescription drugs but costs around five hundred dollars a month per person which may be out of range for most consumers. The Bronze plan does not cover drugs. A new rider, Core plus, available this year for the first time, has some good drug benefits and costs about as much as Bronze. But it lacks the better coverage in other areas than drugs that Bronze provides. The Medigap handbook is complete and very useful. It has a list of questions about medigap that starts on page ten I find most useful. When questions arise call the Blue Cross Medex 800 number and get information over the phone or through the written material they send out. The internet is also an option. Choosing a medigap policy that maximizes your protection at the price you can afford is important. The Medigap book can help you make that decision. If you wish to change to another plan once you buy medigap coverage, that option is discussed, with the relevant procedures and dates highlighted for you.

The booklet, “Medicare and Home Health Care,” begins with the words, “Home Health Care includes skilled nursing care, as well as other skilled care services, like physical and occupational therapy, speech-language therapy, and medical social services. These services are given by a variety of skilled health care professionals at home.” Information is offered to secure the services of a home health agency approved by Medicare and close to home. The procedure for getting this coverage is in the book also, as well as the payments Medicare offers for the service and the necessary durable medical equipment . The patient has to qualify as “homebound.” This status is defined on page 11. As always the book is well written and concise. Home health care is to me a valuable tool in the care of older sick persons as it allows for one to stay in familiar surroundings that make the individual feel secure and less afraid of the challenges facing him or her. This book is a must for anyone considering home health care for oneself or a loved one. The agencies in the area are fully competent to help and improve the quality of life of an old person in need.

The next book is called “Medicare and Your Mental Health Benefits.” Depression and anxiety are serious if not addressed, and fortunately Medicare pays part of the cost of hospitalization and doctor visits. A government report of 1999 set the tone in this matter by stating “Mental health is fundamental to health” and goes on to state that the cost to individuals and the country for mental health problems is enormous and is a matter which our medical and psychiatric system is equipped to deal with. The matter is important as anyone who has been depressed knows full well. Stress has the effect of aggravating many physical ills. It beats down the body mercilessly and does great harm at all phases of life. Older persons are more vulnerable than most because of the effects aging has on the body, so stress management is a key factor to take up with medical persons one deals with. There is no shame to getting psychiatric help. This book helps facilitate the way to receive relief from such things as depression, anxiety, product abuse and the like. All these problems take such a toll on our senior population.

“Medicare Coverage of Skilled Nursing Facility Care” explains “what Medicare covers and what you pay for. How to find and compare skilled nursing facilities. How your care is planned. Your rights and protections. Where you can get help.” You might hear the service referred to by its acronym, SNF. Medicare does not cover custodial care. . A nursing facility or home does that. The SNF is available for a short time after a hospitalization. Your doctor or the hospital involved in the case can help you locate a suitable facility that is not too far from where you are. Visits to possible sites are of course a good idea for one to see if the place is suitable for the person in need. A skilled facility does so much to get the patient moving and functioning once more. The benefits are limited and medigap is desirable to cover longer stays in a Medicare approved facility. A SNF can do so much to get a person started once more after, say a broken leg, a stroke or back surgery. The staff is equipped and experienced in the rehabilitation of patients. Having seen such facilities first-hand I am impressed by their levels of success. It is necessary to understand the coverage for SNF’s and it is a bit complicated. This book explains it all nicely.

“Your Medicare Rights and Protections” is an official government document that covers “your right to file a complaint. Your right to get health care services you need. Where you can get help with your questions.” The right to appeal any official decision about your Medicare services is firm. Quality-of-care concerns are addressed. There is an efficient appeals process that does not drag on interminably as some problematic matters are wont to do. If the client thinks some service should be covered by the plan and does not appear to be provided, redress through a reexamination of the issue is possible. The book states, you have the right to “be treated with dignity and respect at all times.” How important that is! If you have dealt with insurance companies and employers’ representatives, you realize the value of that protection. The right to ‘be protected from discrimination.” The right to “get information about Medicare that you can understand to help you make health care decisions.” This is so important. If a person does not get a clear answer, he or she has the right to press the provider for the answer in simple and understandable terms. So often we are given short shrift by insurance companies and hospital and doctor representatives, secretaries, clerks and the like. Medicare specifically states you are entitled to get an answer you can understand. Wow! What a revolutionary concept. This document is a powerful one and needs to be read as well by hospital and doctors’ office representatives; by insurance people you talk to over the phone who bridle when you ask for clarification. The document goes on and says you have the right to have any and all of your questions about the Medicare program answered. It gives you the main Medicare number. Of course both English and Spanish services are provided around the clock. Next you have the right to “get emergency care when and where you need it.” The right to “learn about all of your treatment choices in clear language you can understand.” The right to file a complaint. To have the personal info Medicare collects kept private. The right to “talk with your health care providers in private and have your personal health care information kept private.” And so on. Privacy, the right to a complaint, a fast answer, are guaranteed you by law. The Medicare system has been in place providing good value and service for many years. The rights one has are important. Thank goodness the system works as well as it does. It must be protected from those that want to privatize it. That is the way I feel and am strong in my belief.

“Choosing Long-term Care,” is this book which states “Long –term care can be provided at home, in the community, or in various types of facilities, including nursing homes and assisted living facilities.” A person may need help with “activities of daily living like dressing, bathing, eating and using the bathroom as well as help with care most people do for themselves like using eye drops.” “Long term care can take place at home, in senior centers, at community centers, in special retirement or assisted living facilities, or in nursing homes.” This general guide to available services is most useful. It makes one point clear. “Some people think of long-term care services only as nursing home care. But there are many different kinds of long-term care.”

The book states also that “Generally Medicare does not pay for long-term service.” The program was not set up with that in mind. The other alternatives for help are community based. One has to pay for services in many cases but the booklet gives a variety of good ideas on how to get help and use free or low cost services available locally. The book makes the point that long-term care choices should be thought about before the need arises. The guide here is a sensible approach to the planning necessary for these matters. Again Medicare is not in the business of long term care but the Medicare system as part of the medical mix the patient is involved in, must be considered.

This is a “Guide to Choosing a Nursing Home.” One often hear a friend say gee I hope I don’t end up in a nursing home. It seems to be a dead-end choice, pardon the pun. I have seen good ones and not good ones, but I have heard from a number of sources that we are blessed with many good homes in the area, albeit ones that are high in price. Other areas in the southern states or even in New Hampshire are said to be a good deal lower in price. Nursing home costs are very high in any case and not covered by Medicare unless one goes onto Mass health, Medicaid.

The book has extensive material on all issues to do with planning and seeing a loved one enter such a facility. The checklist for choosing and evaluating a rest home is informative. For example on page 29 it lists as one thing to consider when choosing a facility whether “staff knock on the door before entering a resident’s room and refer to residents by name.”. This is a complete guide to nursing homes with resources available for choosing a suitable site. Visits are a must. One should plan to see and tour facilities under consideration.

This is a one pager, “Getting a second opinion before Surgery.” Medicare Part B helps pay for a second opinion just as it helps pay for other doctors’ services that are medically necessary.

“Medicare Hospice Benefits,” involves one in the sad matter of a final place for one to get specialized and tender treatment. It is a “special way of caring for people who have a terminal illness.” “In many cases, you and your family can stay together in the comfort of your home” A team of doctors, nurses, home health aides, social workers, counselors, and trained volunteers are available to help the patient and family cope with the illness. Depending on the condition of the patient, the hospice care can occur at home, in a hospice residential facility, hospital or nursing home. Benefits, procedures, phone numbers are found in this useful brochure.

As I said at the outset more booklets in addition to these are available from the Medicare people and are found in the publications catalog . New materials appear all the time to meet the changing times we live in. They are but a phone call away and they are free of charge.

There is a lot to say about older people. I just finished a book by Irving Sandler, “A Sweeper-up After Artists,” on his fifty odd years reporting on the art scene in NY where he lives. He is wonderfully articulate and ends the book by saying he is in his eighties, feels pretty good and has enjoyed a jaunt into his past. In this book he talks about his friends, Jackson Pollock, Joan Mitchell, De Kooning, Franz Kline, David Smith and so many known and unknown artists he has been around all his adult life. He cared for artist friends and has praised them in his books and magazine articles. His love for art, in particular abstract art, is intense. It shows in his sentences. He is one of so many old people who do their lives day in day out with little fanfare. He is greatly talented as a critic, historian, writer and thinker.

The elderly waitress at the Four Stars restaurant in Needham, whom my wife and I admire and love to watch do her work. The old doctor who lays hands on the patient, touches with tenderness and feeling. The elder who eagerly attends the local council on aging event. The old man who comes to the Sherborn library daily to feel the good vibes and speak to the ever-pleasant director and staff. It really goes on and on, this parade of older people doing what they do, unobtrusively day by day.

I sat yesterday with four fine gentlemen in Sherborn at the Sandwich Shop for the second meeting of a group organizing a monthly program for elders. It was chaired by the efficient and pleasant Charlie Williams who is active indeed in elder affairs. John Hill was most interesting to listen to as he spoke about his military time in World War Two. Fletch Willey led men on destroyers in the war and was in the Navy for many years. Mr. Bill Bekebrede spoke about how it would be nice for participants to talk about their lives at the meetings. What they did for work, family matters, interests, opinions on current issues and on. That idea was roundly supported. Allyn Callahan was there as activities person to help us further our aim to develop an active and large group of elders meeting regularly to share ideas and company. She works hard to develop new programs and events for the edification of Sherborn elders. I am proud to say that I will be a member of the group. It was so much fun being on the ground floor of this endeavor.

Expecting little other than daily respect, old people ring up the groceries at Da Moulas’s supermarket and say a pleasant word to the customer, as I found the last time I was there. The sense I have is that the desire to render service does not end when one hits a milestone of age, say 60 or seventy. It goes on, this public giving, until one cannot do so any longer. The old ones among us are often quiet but believe me, they are looking, evaluating, judging, appreciating, feeling, all the time.

One thing I like about being old and being aware is that the time comes when one has not much fear of being turned down for a job, say. Or worry about losing a job for a minor indiscretion. Many of us do not have full time jobs we can get laid off or fired from. One becomes what I call a free standing human finally, and not a corporate clone and dependent. I don’t mean to be so crass but people who work for big and small organizations are limited in what they say or do. The threat of job loss in these days of corporate ascendancy and domination is real and constant. The jobs flee overseas faster than we can develop them and the workers in big companies may do two or more jobs, getting paid for the one only. Power is in the hands of the boss people and the higher ups who can push people around more than was the case when I worked at Polaroid in the sixties and seventies where we were treated like decent human beings with feelings and legitimate needs.

The times are tough but if you want an unvarnished opinion on a matter, a sensible judgment, a wise and often ascerbic remark, just talk to an old one. The truth won’t hurt them because they are not what I would call corporate members any more, most of them. They are free standing thinkers and sages, and so much fun to access and noodle around with. Plus they are the rare ones in this fast world. They have time . Time to talk and read and think and lay about, and play and sleep and eat and have a spot of fun. You can’t say that about many of these people you see all the time engaged in a daily rush. I keep coming around to the point that old people are special. I know that and take a pleasure in following up on that idea.

Nothing says a person has to give up and stay in bed when a certain age is reached. Now, vitalized old persons do what they did when they were young. Only slower. I sure can’t get around fast but I still get there and have a lot to say about what my life consists of. I put demands, big ones on myself, and similar pressure on my family and friends to do what I think is right and necessary to mitigate some of the horrors I see on the tv. Daily, old people are out there living life and adding to the human equation that has to do with service and kindness. It is apparent if one looks, but as I say, older people are just not big self advertisers, so one has to be vigilant to see that most of us still out of the graveyard are about and doing stuff. Stuff useful and valuable often to family and neighbors and town. I see no reason old people should not run things, get elected to office, advise grandchildren, sponsor events, do tv shows, care for others, volunteer, go out and make a buck just like every one else.

I just read “Dark Star Safari,” by Paul Theroux who grew up in Medford, Mass. He is world famous and took a trip at 60 years of age by land from Cairo to Capetown. He rode buses and camels and saw some great Africans, who helped him on his travel. His account is harrowing. The dangerous bus rides, the awful aids situation, the hunger and poverty, the murder and genocide. But he goes country by country, gets the help he needs from Africans and says what he sees and feels. He is called old man because so many in Africa are old or dead at forty and he is still at it , writing and traveling, experiencing the food and talk, avoiding the pleas of teenage prostitutes who want him to pay for the services he will sensibly forsake. Anyway he has a paragraph on page 198 I will quote here. In it he says things I feel but can not express as well.

Here’s Theroux. “ What older people know, what had taken me almost sixty years to learn, is that an aged face is misleading.. I did not want to be the classic bore, the reminiscing geezer, yet I now knew; the old are not as frail as you think, and they are insulted to be regarded as feeble. They are full of ideas, hidden powers, even sexual energy. Don’t be fooled by the thin hair and battered features and skepticism. The older traveler knows it best; in our hearts we are youthful, and we are insulted to be treated as old men and burdens, for we have come to know that the years have made us more powerful and streetwise. Years are not an affliction. Old age is strength.”

Hah…Isn’t that nice? As the viewer of my thoughts strolls, clicking over the tv stations and spends a moment with me on the local cable network, may he or she remember these words as one flips from a Viagra commercial to the one touting the latest four wheel drive or weight loss formula sure to work. Wisdom isn’t found much on the dreamland that is tv today. The truth is evident. Old people like Theroux and me are to be reckoned with if one can expect to make sense in our times. He says it plain straight out that old age is strength. There is so much that is bad about getting old . That is fact. Illness, depression, alcohol abuse, overweight, declines in body power and on and on but the plus side is there and needs to be recognized.

Rich people write books about how their old age is such an opportunity and blessing because now they have the time to travel and get treatments for their ills, to care for grandchildren and do good community deeds. Mr. Bronfman of Seagrams whiskey fortune is one that comes to mind. He has a point, but for most older people I know it is a time for careful consideration, one where dwindling resources have to be husbanded carefully and wisely so one is not a burden but an asset, to kin and community. It is really tough to be old and to get older. Pain is never easy to handle and many of us hurt quite a bit a lot of the time. Yet one must try to not complain. It does not do any good and it turns off those around you faster than most anything else.

I remember in the early days when I was a young man, I reveled amid my colleagues at the Dover Grange which was functioning in full flower. My elderly companions were totally charming and I heard very little grumbling about their conditions. It helps me now to remember those fine folks. I mumble their names now as I am typing this text. I think on them, how they looked , where they lived in Dover, how they thought and mostly how they loved to laugh. They had the most precious commodity of all, time, and that they shared freely. Members would be walked in carefully if they were frail or disabled. The Grange ceremony was pregnant with words of love and care, for self, other, town, and country. The feel for the power of nature and god was strong in the words of the ceremony and in the souls of the participants.

There comes a time when a person has to learn to be old. It really is a learned behavior. I learned part of that lesson by being at Grange meetings and attending Grange functions. I liked Grange a lot. I learned about kindness without one doing any self-advertising, saying” look at me and all I do for others.” They were among the most selfless humans I have ever met in my days, doing so many different kinds of things in so many places. In good old Dover I learned I learned a lot about what I had to become if I would begin to approach the style and power of the Grange members, the Grangers I hung out with. It just makes sense for a human community to learn from the old in it. It has gone by the boards today. It is all age graded and still gender based forms of association we live amid. Young and middle age among themselves. Older people in their fifties with others of their peers. And then it all further goes into men talking in one line of discussion and women another, at all age levels. We need to get away from that and realize that men and women at all ages can teach and be of value and interest to us trying to navigate the dangerous shoals of modern life.

Old people are invisibles. If you don’t have a job and status you are nothing. What you are is a job, a lawyer, a clerk, a doctor, a housewife, a teenage worker at Damoulas supermarket. No title , no matter. Most of us who are old lack a job handle and may not be seen as worthy. I don’t feel I am seen as worthy even though I know I am, as I stagger around trying to figure out this crazy life I lead. I know however that I am one of the most interesting people I know, Of that I am certain because I have a definite knowledge of my worth as a human and co-head with my wife, of a large family of kids and grandchildren. My standards are high. I matter and those around me in my family acknowledge that fact. I don’t waste time with tv. I read books to learn about the world. I don’t steal or lie or cheat or speak against my neighbors. I am a one man cheering section for people around me, so many of them doing wonderful deeds. Yet I am often invisible or so feel I am perceived to be. Working in the community further adds to my sense of mattering and having value to those around me.

That old people are special seems self evident to me. I love the tv show, the Simpsons with all its truths about our society. The old man, Homer’s father, is truly disgusting, the nursing home absolutely awful, but it is hilarious to see us spoofed that way. I don’t take it personally . Just find it funny with value in it for sure. Some old people may be awful bores. I don’t usually feel that way. I like hearing the stories they have. It just requires I get quiet and be attentive and I am entertained better than I would be with any tv program. I also learn a great deal by thinking about their wealth of experience. So often they have done amazing things and tell their lives in such a casual manner, downplaying the dangers and problems they overcame. Their modesty is touching.

One has to learn to be old. The only way to do this is for a younger person to spend a lot of time with older persons. In human history that is what has always happened. The grandparents were and can still be the teachers for their children and grand children. It is supposed to be that way even though we have dropped that habit almost fully. The young are self-interested and look in on tv and electronic means to fill their days. Several magazines fuel the needs of the teen people filling them with dreams and possibilities. The ones in the middle have jobs, careers, kids to raise, the football on tv, the need to make more money than they have, to pay for what they have and want to get. So two major populations, the young and middle age ones, are booked up. I am making the point that both groups will benefit if they learn early that the fact of age is ahead and a person can get so much by learning to be old ahead of time so as to have a better life in later years.

Medical costs will continue to rise rapidly we are told. Elder incomes are often fixed. The conclusion is simple. Elder persons have to plan and think carefully about their futures. With medical advances going forward so, people live longer. Even men who do not live as long as women, are making gains with all the medical support they receive.

The thinking person has to focus. That is the key word, “focus.” As I sit here I ponder a hollowed out American black walnut. It is a hard thing, carefully chewed out by a hungry squirrel. The eaten section is right in the middle of the nut. Not off to the side, say. The squirrel got right down to business. No time to waste. I was trained to be old by people in Dover over the last thirty odd years of my life. One fellow in particular taught me the lessons nature and animals can teach. Together we watched the marvelous grey and little red squirrels do their thing in all the seasons. When the walnut trees threw their harvest, the little tykes were busy. I think of that man who taught me so much and never stop wondering what would have come of me had he not taken the time and effort to train me. Daily I go forth with my keys, loose change, wallet and big round pocket watch, all safe in me jeans pockets. But I include that walnut with the rest to remind me of my life’s imperative, to not waste time with idle chatter, tv, worry or just rushing around aimlessly. The nut teaches me that key concept, focus.

The resources are here in Dover and Sherborn. So many fine agencies are here to help with senior issues. Yet I see so many people around town, at the dump, in the stores and the banks whom I never get to know, who don’t attend town functions and I say to myself, are they getting the help they need in those tough years of age? I think not. Some barely get around. Do they have equally frail spouses at home? Do their kids or their pastors or their neighbors know their state and do they care enough to help? These are questions to ask as one sees older people that may not be asking and getting help that could help their lives be just a bit better. Or a lot better. The professionals that help the aged and the rest of us in the community are there to help but the older people who stay isolated have to come out and be noticed in order to enter the fraternity of elders active in the community. Tv as I do it now is an attempt to reach those a bit or a lot isolated. The services we offer are benign and enlightened. No-one wants to take anything away from an older person or render them harm. It is a matter of daily caring and maintenance, be it the local police officer, the cleric or the Visiting Nurse. My hope is that the people in need get help and prosper in the light of the caring community.

Older persons are a terrific resource for all of us. At the last senior coffee in Dover which meets the last Friday of each month, I positioned myself in the midst of several very talkative people going on about this and that. Vacation trips, house and car repairs, the cost of drugs of course, the weather and the Patriots, old friends of theirs, now gone. I happened to strike up a conversation with the fellow directly across from me who is in his late seventies, had lost his life partner, his wife, and was caring for a relative, an in-law who is in a local nursing home. He just knew everything about the elder laws, about long term care, about assisted living, Medicare, the psychological problems of advanced age, the need to stay cool and not get swallowed up by worry and despair. He was helping support a variety of family members and told me about the power of strenuous physical exercise, good diet, sleep when necessary, and all the things one has to do to stay fit in later life. He did say stress was the biggest killer and that he avoided that of course. But then at the end of our pleasant talk he said “look I don’t follow my own advice. I can’t get away from stress. It is a constant with me.” Then he went on and told me about how he was all tied up in helping someone who had come here from a faraway land to help a very ill middle aged child on a short-term visa that was expiring. He was heavily involved in helping her get the visa extended. It wasn’t working out and he was scurrying about looking for solutions. So there it is; an old man working like heck to help someone stay here to minister to a very ill daughter in her forties. Vibrant, driven, much as he was when he was in business and much younger. Looking forward to spring and caring for his yard and looking after all his kin and friends. Really a remarkable fellow. I went out of the breakfast meeting and just shook my head and resolved to keep on trying to live my best so I could be like him, an older mentor making a daily contribution. For me it does not have to be a big thing like saving someone’s life or making a major stride in someone’s care. It is a small and careful smile, a pat on the back or a follow-up phone call is all. That is enough and I learned to do that over many years’ experience from people older that I.

   I get a lot of my reading matter from the dump. Annie's shop and the newsprint trailer. It seems to me I have always done that , getting advertisements to use as visual background for the many videos I have produced on DCTV over the last ten or more years. Yesterday I came up with this book, "Ourselves Growing Older," from the Boston Women's Health Book Collective, 1987, and written by Doress, Siegal and others. It has photos of older women which are documents of praise, love and deep caring . The photographs are what are so striking in the book. So often we older people are portrayed in pictures and tv as less than attractive and lovely. That common error is corrected in this book. Anyway it was not possible for me to find out whether a later and more up-to-date version of this volume is available as the library is not open yet. I am taping fairly early on a Monday morning so that will have to wait a little bit. Here is what I want you to hear from an interview with an old woman on page 8 of the book and with it I finish and wish you a happy and useful day.
"Flexibility ranks high with me as an important quality to cultivate throughout the life span. I feel there are three characteristics important to flexible personality; the first is capacity for learning and interest in pursuing it; the second is imagination; the third is a realistic working philosophy of life. Since I have turned eighty I have had to slow down physically so I have developed new interests and taken more time for old ones. I write more poetry. I reread more books and seek out new ones. I have seen a therapist for the first time in my life to help me through some temporary difficulties. I tried massage and liked it. I plan to keep on growing." (An eighty-two year old woman).